Below are the 9 most recent journal entries recorded in Everyone's dirty secret's LiveJournal:

Wednesday, December 28th, 2005
2:38 am	I feel hollow. I want so bad to talk about how this feels, but no one is listeneing. I don't deserve the one i want, and I am powerless to accept the one i am with. this isn't a happy place and i feel myself sliding again. why can't i just die and be done with it. this isn't getting better, this is worse. and there isn't enough money to save myself.and when i look for an ear, they all turn away. what kind of god damned pariah am i? (Comment on this)
Friday, May 20th, 2005
3:12 pm	I don't think you grasp the severity of what you are doing. I have already suffered 7 years. I was broken down to a shell. I can't do this anymore. You were suppose to be different, but your teeth and just as shiny and your tongue just as sharp. You wear me thin and will not stand at the edge again to be taunted. You are forcing me to push back, and you will lose. And you don't even see that yet, do you. It's insanely stupid of you. I needed help and I sought it. For both of us you need to do the same, or this will come crashing in on you. My shell is much tougher this time around. (Comment on this)
Friday, February 25th, 2005
6:27 pm	Why the fuck am I so damned depressed? And why can't I find the courage to talk about it? To seek help? Christ, I am pathetic. (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 26th, 2004
3:15 am	Which movie? by travel_crazy Username Favourite colour BlueRedPinkWhitePurpleBlackYellowGreenOrangeBrownGrey You belong in And your co-star should be antiaero77 Quiz created with MemeGen! (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 22nd, 2004
1:36 am	I grow older. I grow fatter. I grow weary and bitter. To tell you the truth, I prefer solitude over you. (Comment on this)
Friday, February 27th, 2004
2:35 pm	I feel like life is punishing me again. The vicious cycle is rearing it's ugly head at me. It works like this: You tell me I don't communicate with you, that I never confide in you or tell you anything. You say you are afraid of what's in my head. So I tell you. The hardest thing for me to do is share what's inside me. But I do. I confide in you about all my concerns and worries. Then you get upset at what I say. You feel "second best" like some sort of participation ribbon. Your pride is hurt then you cease to talk to me. Cease to see me as a human. What have you done? You've taught me it doesn't pay to confide in anyone. Especially your lover. Because when I talk to you, you punish me for what I say. And so I say nothing. ...and you get upset because I never talk to you... I hold high contempt for my dysfunction with society. Current Mood: thrashed (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 26th, 2004
1:12 pm	I wait behind the curtain. You'll notice me one day. I sit I wait I watch. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 6th, 2004
5:19 am	Like a Jew in ancient Spain And for Christ's name did pay with pain Modern day inquisition What is the link between these crafts? Doctors and thieves, they both wear masks Overpaid meat magicians Life is killing me Your doctorate and Ph.D. Would wipe my ass etched in feces Will not cure your affliction Doctors Jeckyll or Mengele And your face too, they're just a blur Can't improve my condition Life is killing me Appointment made, waited three hours Did not realize you had such power I'd rather see a mortician Your parents saved or had the bucks Your education stems from luck Future corpse: death by physician I have no choice: devoid of rights So pull the plug, it's my damned life Keep me alive to increase your bill A Red Cross hell? - the hospital! Just let me die with dignity It's not suicide, simply mercy Just who do you think you are? Medical school don't make you God Now I don't care what you've been taught Just get me off this life support Just let me die, with dignity It's not suicide, simply mercy Life is killing me Current Mood: bitter (1 Comment |Comment on this)
4:25 am	Everything they feed you as a society is a lie. You know that right? Buy into the lies and the low self-esteem. Poor self-image and bad self-confidence. Don't tell me I am pretty. You only mean it skin deep. Or maybe it's only because I see myself skin deep. And who would like what they see. And what does a soul in pain want? Another soul to wallow in despair with. And where is the spiritual savoir in this world? How do we gain back what we've lost? Assuming we had a hold of it in the first place? Some things are just too shiney to hold on to. Tiger! Tiger! Burning bright in the forests of the night. Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)